We’ve all been there as women–a “nice guy” is really into you and wants to take you out, but you’re just not that into it.
The minute he smells anything close to rejection, the nice guy isn’t so nice anymore. As the story goes with toxic masculinity, some men have a hard time hearing the word “no.” And, they end up flipping a switch from nice to complete and total jerkoff in less than 60 seconds. One Reddit user asked the women of Reddit to share the most uncomfortable situation they’ve ever been put in by a seemingly “nice guy” and, it’ll make you change the way you look at men altogether.
There was a guy in high school who had a crush on me. He was never shy about it, and from day one he made me feel really uncomfortable. He’d ask me out multiple times a day, always in front of my friends (who didn’t help because they’d always egg me on to go out with him – I was the new kid in school and they’d all been friends with him since elementary school). When I kept saying no, he assumed it was because I was seeing someone else, so he started telling people I was sleeping with random guys in school (I wasn’t, I had no interest in dating any of the boys I went to high school with). Any time I tried to tell him to stop doing that he (and anyone else around for that matter) said he was just joking and I needed to lighten up.
It all came to a head at the homecoming dance my junior year. He was a senior, so it was his last homecoming. Apparently, the day before homecoming he told one of my friends that he’d asked me to the dance and I said yes. He had not asked me, I never had any intention of going to the dance. He kept going on to my friend about how special he wanted it to be, that he spent all his money on tickets, gas, new shoes and a corsage. My friend was so excited for him that she went over to his house the day of homecoming and helped him get everything ready. She also told all our friends what was going on, so EVERYONE was under the impression I was going to the dance with him (let me also add, no one checked with ME that I was going to the dance, so this was all going on without my knowledge).
He told everyone that I was going to get dropped off by my parents, so he and all my friends waited outside for me. They waited for 3 hours. Apparently any time my friends told him to come inside and that I wasn’t coming he’d start tearing up and say, “just 5 more minutes.”
So of course I show up to school on Monday and everyone was FURIOUS at me. None of my friends wanted to talk to me. I sat alone at lunch for 3 days completely confused about what was going on before some girl I’d never talked to before asked me why I’d stood this guy up.
So I went up to the guy when he was alone, asked what the fuck he’d done, and he just started laughing hysterically and said, “if you agree to go out with me I’ll tell everyone it was just a misunderstanding.”
Never talked to the guy again. It permanently damaged my friendships with several people because they thought I was a massive asshole to this guy who they thought was really sweet.
Met a “nice guy” over OKC a couple years ago, I gave him my number after we chatted for a bit and talked about possibly meeting. When he suggested we meet at a local elementary school in the middle of the night I noped the fuck out and told him it was nice talking to him but I didn’t want to meet anymore. He kept trying to convince me by saying he would buy me gifts, he really likes me and thinks we could hit it off.. When I told him no he blew up and called me a bitch, a whore, the usual. He tells me that I now owe him $15 because he had already bought me a present for our “first date” and that I needed to meet him RIGHT NOW to give him his money. Or I could meet him and have a “good time” and forget about all of this. Blocked his number right away and didn’t hear from him until the next day when he calls me from a DIFFERENT NUMBER. When I picked up he acted pleasant and asked me what time we were going to meet today for our date. I told him to fuck off and blocked him again. Then I get a text a couple hours later from ANOTHER fucking phone number saying that if I don’t meet him, he was going to kill himself. After a bit of (unnecessarily) dramatic conversation, I basically told him that I didn’t care if he killed himself, he was psychotic and needed to leave me alone. I blocked him and forgot about it.
Fast forward to about six months ago when I got a text from an unknown number. I knew exactly who it was when I read the text, “I have $20 and a fun night planned for us. Want to meet sometime soon? Miss you.” Blocked it, changed my number. Never giving it out to a stranger again.
I was like 19 and working 3rd shift at a gas station, casually sweeping the floor. The door opens and I hear that ding so I look up and make eye contact with some guy.
I can’t explain what was going on in this guy’s head, but it was like he thought it was some kind of slo-mo movie situation, and he “staggered” back, gasping, and widening his eyes and staring at me. I am not the kind of person to notice this kind of stuff in other people, I felt like I was reading a scene from Twilight in my head.
I went behind the checkout counter, he grabbed his red bull or whatever. He kept obviously looking at me in shock and shaking his head like he was trying to psych himself up for something (ladies, you know that feeling when you know someone wants to catch your attention and talk to you but you’re trying to keep it casual). This went on for like 20 minutes and I couldn’t accomplish anything because I’m waiting for this dude to check out.
Anyway, so he walks up to the checkout super dramatically, I check him out, he stares the whole time and finally sighs, saying, “I never expected to see such a beautiful woman at a gas station. This is fate, you shouldn’t be working here, I just can’t help myself, I have to ask you to go out with me.”
I said sorry, I have a boyfriend.
He seriously looked enraged. He clenched his fists and gave me this overly dramatic scary look, grabbed his stuff, and stormed out the door. He moved his car so the bright headlights were facing the front of the store and sat there until the next customer came, probably an hour later.
Honestly, I wasn’t too scared, it was just like, really? I just wanted to finish my list of duties at this crappy gas station and live my life. But some joe concocted a bizarre dream scenario in his head and somehow that was my fault.
Met a guy at a gathering at a mutual friend’s place and ended up getting stuck talking to him all night.
Night ends and I don’t give it another thought. Couple weeks later he calls my house. I didn’t give him my last name or phone number. Since he now has my number, he also knows my address and starts showing up at my house at weird times, sometimes with his equally creepy sister.
Fast forward a few years, I haven’t lived at home for at least a year. He shows up. Dad answers the door and just tells him I’m not in, not that I don’t live there or anything.
Later that same night, dad lets the dog out for a pee before bed. Dog disappears into the backyard, chasing something she really wants to catch. Thinks it’s a skunk or something until he hears the gate on the neighbors fence open and close quickly. Dog has chased a person out of the backyard. My old bedroom window faced our backyard. We don’t know for sure, but I think my dog chased that fucking creep out of our yard.
Fuck you Adam.
I had to get a ride from a “friend” my junior year of high school. For some reason I didn’t have my car (I don’t remember all the details). He stopped about a mile from my house and pulled over onto the side of the road. He told me he had a dream where we had made out and that I was a really good kisser and he decided I could either walk home from there or kiss him.
“drinking too much” on a first date in order to stay over at my apartment and sleep on my couch (and then try to worm into my bed at 3 am)
I considered him a friend. Stayed at his apartment when visiting his town, he slept in the living room, I in the bedroom. When it got late, he started making “jokes” about how he had hidden the bedroom key and that I should get “ready” for him. I spent the night half-awake and fully dressed from sheer fear. In the morning, I packed and wanted to leave, but he wouldn’t let me go without having a “goodbye kiss”. He physically blocked the door so I couldn’t get out. I tried to play it off and somehow managed to squeeze by him without getting kissed, but it was a terrifying experience. And that was the end of our friendship.
Had a VERY difficult, traumatic ending to a long term, live-in engagement. He went to jail, I decided to go to Europe to backpack for the summer. Best friend (m) agreed to come along, and was VERY aware this was a post-break up get away, to clear my head and have fun.
He flew out ahead of me to visit family. I arrived at the airport to see him waiting for me in Europe on bended knee, ring and flowers and all.
I was furious, and that friendship was destroyed. Vacation was equal parts horrendously awkward and tense, and amazing, but ended with him drunkenly ranting about it all again in a hostel one night, ultimately becoming sexually and physically aggressive toward me, and a group of stranger hostel bunkies helping to quietly pack my stuff while he was finally passed out, and get me to the airport and home immediately. I haven’t seen him since, about eight years now.
He said that he would commit suicide unless I became his girlfriend.
Nice guy said he was doing me a favor by trying stick his hands down my pants, because he was “the only one that would give me experience” being the “size I was”. Jokes on him, I lost 65 pounds after that and turned my life around completely.
He was my coworker, and 20 years older than me. I know some people might go for that, but it personally weirds me out.
Anyway, he started sexually harassing me. He would call at odd hours, I think he was masturbating. He left me racy pictures in my box at work. Gave me presents. So I reported him, and he got a little slap on the wrist. But next time he saw me, he started rubbing my shoulders and I told him to stop, not to touch me. He blew up, started screaming at me, in front of all the customers.
After that though, he left me alone. Should have been fired, but eh, at least he left me alone. But unfortunately, I’m pretty sure he chose another woman to harass in my place. Good thing is he’s on disability now, out of the work force for good.