“Being a survivor of emotional abuse is fighting daily battles in your head with a person you no longer have contact with”
1. You don’t love her by trying to fix her.
She sees you as her lover, not her psychiatrist. She doesn’t want a diagnosis, she wants commitment. You don’t have to figure her out because she’s already figuring herself out, trying to rebuild the missing pieces that were robbed from her.
She doesn’t want you to focus on why she’s broken because she doesn’t want you to suffer the burden of repairing her. She’s got this. She just wants you to believe in her.
2. You love her in the way you hold her.
Because that moment reassures her that she won’t be abandoned. In your arms, she’ll feel safe. She doesn’t trust words anymore because she knows all too well how poisonous they truly are.
Holding her without a sound is a melody that lets her know this is real and she is safe. She takes comfort in your touch because it carries more weight to how much you love her than the actual words.
3. Love is honest communication.
You love her by talking to her about anything and everything, especially in those intimate late night conversations. She knows you’re here to stay by how you’re honest with her.
Honesty is not brutality. She’s not interested in the kind of honesty that points out what’s wrong with her but the kind that helps her to think and compromise.
She can’t help but think the worst when it comes to potential problems in the relationship because she knows there’s going to be problems as with all relationships. But at the same time, she’s willing to be positive and take that risk because she trusts you enough to work with you through all the kinks.
4. You love her with patience.
When she was in an emotionally abusive relationship, she forgot who she was in all the shards that went deep into her heart. She’s now relearning who she is and is falling back into love with herself. Healing takes time which is why it’s important to be patient with her insecurities.
Wait for her to believe you when you say she’s beautiful because she will believe it soon. Her scars are still closing and her heart is growing whole again. So treasure it well.