The 20 Do’s & Don’ts Of Getting Over A Really Sh*tty Breakup

Breakups can be really hard to swallow, especially when they come out of absolutely nowhere.

Plenty of times in our lives we find ourselves so infatuated with someone and wrapped up in the romance of “forever,” that we are blinded by the reality of all the red flags that are popping up in our “wonderland.” Breakups can be f*cking awful. We feel like sh*t, we don’t want to face everyone around us, we don’t even want to face ourselves half the time.

But, there comes a moment when we need to get the f*ck out of bed and get on with our lives because – nothing really lasts forever anymore, now does it? Instead of turning to toxic and unhealthy coping mechanisms, there are a lot of ways to get over your sh*tty ex that won’t hurt you or anyone around you.


1. Book a solo trip and re-meet yourself.

After you go through a breakup, a lot about you is going to change. Even when you’re in the relationship, you probably lost a lot of “who you are” to the person you were with. You need some TLC with yourself and some time to really get to know yourself again.

2. Change up your hair.

You’re going to hate everything about yourself for a good while after you go through the motions. Changing something small or simple as a haircut or color will make you feel brand new and fresh. Everyone needs to get pampered every now and again.

3. Try a new hobby you’ve been putting off.

Find something you can really put all of your energy into. Maybe you want to go to an improv class in the city, maybe you’ve always been interested in learning to play the guitar – whatever it is, use your emotions to really focus on it, instead of focusing on your past.

4. Do a wardrobe purge.

Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything that’s not “you” anymore – it’s true, we all have 75%-80% of our wardrobe that we never, ever wear. Donate it to charity, or even make a project out of cutting up old t-shirts into something better.

5. Volunteer somewhere.

There are tons of shelters, soup kitchens, shops and sites that need volunteers. Giving back will make you feel better about yourself and about the world – especially when everything feels super f*cking sh*tty.

6. Start a blog.

I’ve always been in love with writing, but, my best work has always come out when I was highly emotional. Whenever I had relationship struggles, family problems or even issues with friends, my mind worked in ways that I just needed to get it out into words. Who knows? You could make an entire career out of it.

7. Reconnect with old friends.

Chances are, you cut a lot of people off, or put some distance between you and friends while you were dating someone. There’s no reason to completely feel alone when you’re going through a breakup. Text a friend and grab a coffee or a drink for happy hour – spend time with people who will make you forget why you were upset in the first place.

8. Treat yourself to something you’ve always wanted.

Whether it’s something big or something small, do it for you and no one else. Buy yourself the necklace you’ve been eyeing, save up and get yourself a new car. Whatever it is, feel good because you did it for yourself.

Lex Gabrielle

Written by Lex Gabrielle

Lex Gabrielle native New Yorker who supports messy buns and all things covered in buffalo sauce. She is currently a managing editor for BloomJoy and teaches English and Journalism to the youth of America.