1. Any animal you encounter will have animated voices and speak their inner thoughts—Wild Thornbury style. But naturally, they only speak through you.
2. Under no circumstances do you ever answer the phone with a “hello.” Any greeting other than hello is cool, but usually, you just go for a loud shriek, a tuneful whistle or some solid gibberish.
3. Sometimes you’ll get a line of a song in your head which will stay there indefinitely unless you belt it out at the top of your lungs. This tends to happen when you’re in a very public place.
4. Practicing weird faces is your go-to boring activity. This can get awkward when someone catches you doing it and you have to laugh maniacally in order to scare them off.
5. You have an alter-ego when you get drunk. Your friends are incredibly aware of this entirely separate drunk person personality and have even come up with a name for him/her.
6. You are selectively superstitious. While stepping on a crack ain’t no thang, if you jinx something and don’t touch wood you’re gonna end up having a panic attack.
7. Making little noises, asking yourself questions and giggling every now and then is just part of being on your own. Sometimes it happens in public, no biggie.
8. You love candy, chocolate, and all things sweet, maybe to the point of mild addiction. You don’t want to admit this, but your friends are starting to think about arranging an intervention.
9. You don’t exactly hug your friends when you greet them, it’s more of an octopus-esque, four-limbed, off the floor embrace.
10. There is only one photo on Facebook where you have a normal pose. This was taken purely by accident.
11. You find people you don’t really know on social media and “like” some of their super old photos, just to freak them out a little.
12. You have given all of your friends nicknames, and in no circumstances will you use their real name. Unless, of course, in mock anger when you middle name the f*ck out of them.
13. Plans are not your forte. You can make them, you can discuss them, you can change them, but very rarely do you actually manage to complete them.
14. Dancing is the preferred way to get from one place to the next. Skipping, twirling and sprinting also work.
15. You’re not a drug dealer, you’ve never been a drug dealer, but for some reason, people keep asking you for drugs.