10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re The Lazy Couple

couple bed
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You glorious lazy bastards. You’re the couple that has taken chilling the next level and has got your cuddle game on point. You’re creating a comfy utopia and you don’t care who knows it, ‘cos deep down you know they’re just jelly, and really, it’s for good reason:

1. You’re snuggling on a professional level.

If snuggling was an Olympic sport (as it should be) you two would take home gold without a sweat. Not to mention cashing in on some sweet sponsorship deals, looking at you Bed Bath and Beyond.

2. You become telepathic on who does what job.

One of you needs to tell Netflix that you’re still alive, the other needs to fetch water to ensure that you stay that way. It’s a truly symbiotic relationship.

3. Dates are super cheap.

Takeout, film, weed, and bed costs far less than drinks, dinner, movie, bar, taxi, broken stiletto, hospital, bail money, and lawyers. You savvy prudent savers.

4. Netflix and chill isn’t a trend, it’s a way of life.

You were Netflixing and chilling way before if became a flimsy euphemism for sex. You Netflix and chill the way it’s meant to be, which is chilling, watching Netflix, and only having sex at the end of the episode.

5. There’s no third wheel if we’re all just chillin’.

Friends respect your lazy game and know that they’re welcome to join in whenever they feel like it, no awkwardness necessary.

6. You know it’s possible to be motivated while being horizontal.

Hey! You get shit done, so long as it can be dealt with using only a laptop and a lack of pants. Booking things, planning trips, organizing weddings, it’s all a click away. Actually getting up to follow through on those schemes is a different story.

7. You’re super low maintenance.

Oh, you’ve heard all about low maintenance relationships, and they aren’t even close to what you two have got going on. The biggest thing you two have ever argued about is over who has to put on trousers to get the door for the pizza guy.

8. Seamless is always an option.

Neither of you ever wants to be the one to suggest, but both of you are secretly hoping the other will buckle and fire up the laptop for dinner. There’s only one thing for it, not-so-subtle hints until one of you is hungry enough to cave.

9. You’ve got your own secret language.

‘Cos words are hard. Grunts, moans, wails, and shrieks just get the point across sooooo much faster.

10. You don’t bend to social pressures.

Society may say you need a combined Instagram account, matching game-day clothing and a professional photo shoot every 6 months, but you two are just dandy doing it low key. This relationship is for you two, and it doesn’t need to be validated by a Facebook post.

PuckerMob

Written by PuckerMob

Original lists and articles about who you are, why you love and how you live.