22 Life-Altering Amazon Finds For Anyone Who’s A Perpetual Hot Mess

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Does your bed store more clothes than your closet? Do you show up to work meetings with chocolate on your face? Do you look like you just stabbed someone to death every time you eat spaghetti? Then you’re in luck. You see, the slobs of the world have come together and invented incredible technologies to make life easier. These products are affordable, creative, and a must-have for any true slop-monster.

*We hope you dig the products we recommend or just enjoy reading our content. In the spirit of full disclosure, we may receive a portion of the sales made on this page.

22. Can’t drink wine like a normal adult? Try out these sippy-cup style wine tumblers.

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You’ll probably still find a way to spill it on your white shirt, but at least you’re trying.

Get it on Amazon for $10.97

21. Oh, and you bet your sloppy ass there’s a beer version as well.

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Drink like a baby while you get drunk like an adult! It’s the best of both worlds.

Get it on Amazon for $17.95

20. For those inevitable stains, there are these nifty instant stain removers.

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Get it on Amazon for $6.40

19. Stay clean and classy with this adult bibs.

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Literally, no one will be able to tell you’re not really wearing a 3 piece suit.

Get it on Amazon for $23.99

18. You’ll never have to worry about spilling wine again with this combo stopper/pourer.

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Not only do they seal in the wine’s freshness, but they also keep you from panicking when you knock the bottle off your coffee table and onto your rug several times.

Get it on Amazon for $8.28

17. And when you somehow find a way to spill it anyway, just grab some of these wine-wipes.

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They’re made with natural ingredients and come in a sleek, sexy package. Just like you! 😉

Get it on Amazon for $6.97

16. Stop trippin! Literally, with these no-tie shoelaces.

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Perfect for when you’re drunk and a little klutzy or totally sober and a little klutzy.

Get it on Amazon for $9.99

15. Painting your house? You need this pouring paint lid.

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Unless you want to stare at a green spot on your hardwood floors forever. Trust me.

Get it on Amazon for $6.20

14. Ever heard of the Staybowlizer?

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No, it’s not a hemorrhoid donut. It’s a stabilizer for your mixing bowls, so you can toss a salad without getting dressing all over the floor and lettuce all under the stove.

Go ahead and keep salad tossing jokes to yourself, please.

Get it on Amazon for $34.99